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When You Start Growing

I will tell you life is hard, and laugh right back at you... I will tell you crying makes it uneasy, and smear the tears I will tell you I have met eyes that never smile  I will tell you I have met loneliness that doesn't speak at all I will tell you I have sat in the same room where life felt empty I will tell you I have sat looking at someone who just doesn't want to go home  I will tell you relationships are hard, and will hold your hands right away I will tell you cold shoulders are greasy but it's the intense warmth that makes you shiver I will tell you I have met people for who love was the only thing until they picked being lonely I will tell you relationship devors decorum like a wolf feasting on fresh carcass I will tell you vultures gather to eat what pains the most, yes the lost ones I will tell you dark is hard, but directions are easier when unseen I will tell you what itches me is constant pain I will tell you how naked I am in reality but no one wants to see

Why Can't I

I am scared of dying alone..
I am scared of crying to my very bone.
I am scared of hands which detach..
I am.scared of any familiar touch.
I am scared of lying asleep with no one
Bothering to wake me up.
I am scared of going on with no one
Asking me to stay over.
I am scared of trying harder and then
Running into a dead end.
I am scared of closing eyes and waking
Up to a room full of strangers.
I am scared of tears flowing through cheeks which are unstoppable.
I am scared of words that means nothing.
I am scared of promises that always fall out.
I am scared of happiness which is short lived.
I am scared of innocence not so meaningful anymore.
I am scared of hidden stories beneath deep eyes.
I am scared of lies covered under pretty faces.
I am scared of politely killing someone.
I am scared of kindness withholding wrath.
I am scared of anger struggling to pounce on.
I am scared of smiles that I will never again encounter.
I am scared of lives just slipping away from my finger tips.
Sweaty hands dampening grip..
Why can’t I save anyone by the end of this trip.

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