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Friendly Addiction: Unlimited Interactions

  In life, we get all kinds of friends, some close, some closer, some strangers, some travelers. In my experience, at one point in my life, I had more than 500 friends, during my school days back in Carmel Convent School, Hamirpur, Rourkela. My parents would constantly see me getting phone calls, and visitors independent of their demographics.      My father would smile and say, "Jenny, are you an IAS officer?, that you get so many calls in a day?" . I used to laugh in response and say, "Paa, they all want me to solve their problems, and I love the attention".     How did this happen?, it didn't happen when I started school, trust me, I was really shy, hardly talking and surprisingly even my teachers in kindergarten had escalated issues, stating that I don't even show classwork to teachers during the class. I was the youngest, in my father's family and I had a total of 6 elder cousins to look upto, including my elder brother. When I started school...

Why Can't I

I am scared of dying alone..
I am scared of crying to my very bone.
I am scared of hands which detach..
I am.scared of any familiar touch.
I am scared of lying asleep with no one
Bothering to wake me up.
I am scared of going on with no one
Asking me to stay over.
I am scared of trying harder and then
Running into a dead end.
I am scared of closing eyes and waking
Up to a room full of strangers.
I am scared of tears flowing through cheeks which are unstoppable.
I am scared of words that means nothing.
I am scared of promises that always fall out.
I am scared of happiness which is short lived.
I am scared of innocence not so meaningful anymore.
I am scared of hidden stories beneath deep eyes.
I am scared of lies covered under pretty faces.
I am scared of politely killing someone.
I am scared of kindness withholding wrath.
I am scared of anger struggling to pounce on.
I am scared of smiles that I will never again encounter.
I am scared of lives just slipping away from my finger tips.
Sweaty hands dampening grip..
Why can’t I save anyone by the end of this trip.

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